thanksgiving

we are thankful for all of our family and friends!

rae and the bully

it seems that we have found ourselves in a little predicament. the little girl that rae affectionately pushed her desk back at has been secretly eating away at her. i noticed about a week ago that rae was drawing "lee" everywhere. so, i just thought that she just found herself a little boyfriend or something. well, conversations have been popping up out of the blue about "leena" the little girl that she had the desk fight with. they sit across from one another in school. about leena not liking her. or that leena was mean to her. or, that leena said this or that to her. well, then it got a little deeper. that her and "kaitlin" whispered and wouldn't tell her what they were talking about. that they laughed at her. that she didn't have any friends. of course, that stuff will break a mothers heart when she hears that her child thinks that she doesn't have any friends. that was just tough. but, that wasn't anything up to what happened while i was gone with mom shopping the other night. the girls were up at dad and diane's and rae was sitting playing. all of a sudden, she bursted out in tears, crying, saying that she didn't have any friends, that she didn't want to go to school and that leena was mean to her. well, the tears lasted for over 20 mins and it broke dad and diane's heart. diane spared my time out and waited to call me until the next morning. little did she know, that i was going to have a similar conversation but with no tears the next morning AS SOON AS rae opened her eyes. at any rate, i compared her feelings to a little cartoon that we have seen a few times and told her to tell leena "so" when she starts calling her names and laughing at her. she asked doug to come and eat with her at school right after we were discussing all of this and i found that really odd. i didn't know what it was all about until i got the phone call from diane a few minutes after she was gone to school. it all made sense to me when i heard the story from the night before. so, i remembered seeing some "art" in her folder from school. i was really saddened when i opened up the folder and saw that she had in fact started writing "leena" and marking it out with a "X" over top of her name. there were hearts and flowers like she always does and then the name leena over and over with x's on it. it was really upsetting to see and then i understood why it was so important that day for her to have someone eat with her at lunch. she didn't want to go to school. she's been so excited about school and for her not to want to be there is disheartening. so, after discussing this for a short while, i decided it was best to go ahead and talk to mrs. ballengee that morning before i came to school for lunch. i didn't want to bother her in her free time. so, i went down there immediately and rae never saw me talking to mrs. ballengee. she was grateful that i came and brought it to her attention before it got really ugly and she told me that rae had actually said something to her that morning as well. so, the story will end with me going to the school and rae being excited to see me at lunch. the first thing that she said to me was "leena apologized to me, mommy!" i'm not so sure how this mommy thing is going to work out. it's tough.

the recital

no pictures or video. but we had a nice time. the recital was great and it seemed like we all did a relatively good job. i saw the video yesterday and that was a real treat. i was scared half to death but i made it through. back stage was a nightmare with all of the little class. it might have been better if they pulled each others hair out and just got it over with. we are already looking forward to the one in may and searching for new costumes! the old dance instructor and her mother will be certain to have fun at the next one. i hope that they didn't miss their wave.

thankful

well, i guess we are lucky that we've had two kids going on six and four and we've never had to take them to the emergency room. i suppose there are many mothers that i know who have stood beside their child's bed and pretended that they had it all together. last night was scary as shit. the family has been sick, so when i was awakened by the girls, my immediate thought was that ryane had started vomiting. and, that the reason that both of them were upset was that it was on the other or something. the sound was loud, that is all that i knew. i shot up and it woke doug up from my quick movement. the girls ran in the room and turned on the light this time. rae was choking. it seemed like she had something lodged in her throat. i was scared to death. she was drooling everywhere. it was all over her. down her legs and body and she couldn't breathe. she was gasping for each breath and i was trying to keep it calm. doug was losing it and ryane was pacing around in her pj's. i will never forget the look on that babies face in my entire life. i thought she was choking to death. i started doing the heimlich maneuver and i couldn't get anything out. she was coughing and coughing. and it was so deep. i grabbed her throat and tried to move it around to see if i could get something out. nothing was working and it just was getting worse and worse by the minute. we tried to get her to take a drink and that didn't help either. so, we got clothes on both of them and started out of the door. rae had a meltdown when doug said the word "hospital." i could have killed him. she was a nervous wreck and i was trying to keep it together for everybody. doug went to the hospital in his pj's and tennis shoes. on a side note, hopefully they weren't paying attention that they were scrubs...so we got there and rae was terrified. doug rushed her straight in and i did the paperwork. i couldn't answer the questions appropriately. i was quite numb. ryane was saying how tired she was. by the time i was finished and got in there, the doctor told me that she had the croup and that he needed to give her steriods. i proclaimed "it's just croup." and he didn't like that very much. i thought she was dying and had something in her throat. i guess it just didn't come across the right way. but, there wasn't another way at that time. he put her on a breathing machine for about 45 minutes and that helped so much and the steriods seem to have done the trick. i kept reminding her how ryane had to do the same thing when she was a baby and that it wasn't going to hurt her. i finally got her to relax and when that happened she was fine with being there and the nurse helping her out. they were super nice and she just can't wait to tell the bus driver and her teacher!

parent teacher conference

does this really mean that we are grown up now? we had our first parent teacher conference today. i got there early in hopes that we could spend extra time with mrs. ballengee. she knew i was out there b/c she just said "rikki?" i had to wait on the other couple to come out so i didn't end up getting in there early. however, as soon as i walked in...she just started laughing. and told me that i was going to have my hands full. i politely told her that i already did. i guess she knows where i stand b/c i warned her very early about rae. and, of course, she's probably picked up on all of her "rae" things in the short time she's had her. she's back on her underwear kick now...they have to be tight again. anyway, doug got there just about the time i sat down and we talked and talked. we got off task a lot so i guess she felt comfortable with us. basically, she's a good kid, she does well, but in mrs. ballengee's words, "she stands up for herself." apparently there was a little situation this week where a little girl pushed her desk at rae, then rae pushed back, the other one pushed back, mrs. ballengee said no, rae pushed back, and then the little girl did it again. apparently rae looked at mrs. ballengee really cross and RAMED the little girl hard as hell. she said that she just wanted to just say "YES." but obviously she couldn't.

Long Time No See

we have pictures of halloween on the camera but we don't have a computer that is working to upload them onto. i'll let you see them as soon as i am able to. :)

we are still just busy bees. dance is keeping us super busy. three days a week is nearly nuts and mrs. rhonda has increased the times since next weekend (the 15th) is the first recital. i am already a nervous wreck and i got even more so when she gave me another costume this week. she told me it would be ok if i got good hose. ahhhhhhhh. i guess it's not so much the attire really, it's just about getting up on a stage and dancing for god's sake. i can't believe i am doing this. i'll just pretend it's like the other 4 times i've done it this summer/fall and convince myself it's not giles high school and mrs. rose isn't pushing me on the stage. however, someone might have to push me on the stage or sedate me.